Haikus of Conversations with Our Kids

A Series of True Conversations with Our Kids


How old are you, Dad?

Are you five years old today?

Me, I am two now.


How old are you, Mom?

Thirty-six is from old days

I’m part of new days.


How many were there?

Only three of us in class.

I was threeith one.


Look! Chicken Denmark!

Do you mean Boston Market?

Yes! Let’s get dinner!


Sister hit my face

Right here in my eye cover

You call them eyelids.


Hey pretty blue bird!

You should move in here with us

You can eat for free!


Sounds like Son has lost

His listening ears again.

Don’t know where they went.


Dad, look what you did

You gave me a dumpster full

Of plain spaghetti.


School inside recess

We played games with hoopa-loops

Cabuz of the rain.


Do you feel okay?

Can we go and get some air?

Toys R Us has air.


Tell me what you think.

You need pretty PJs, Mom.

And those are not it.  


Thank you for the gum.

I don’t have any pockets

In my mouth it goes.


Can I have dessert?

No, you had too much sugar.

Then why eat dinner?


I will be a knight,

Because they are important.

Not office workers.


Who catches bad guys?

The police and Spider-Man.

He’s the one who’s real.


You’re good at digging.

What else are you good at, son?

Howling at the moon.


Good job mopping Mom!

I know you are working hard.

LIke the way you mop!


I got a sticker.

Why do you think you got one?

Because I’m so cute.


When you get tired,

You can float in the water.

I will mope instead.


What should we name it?

Well, if it’s a baby boy

It’s Mr. Hot Dog.


Leave Santa a beer.

And maybe a cigar, too.

You know Santa well!


We should leave a note

Telling Santa to enjoy

But don’t drink and fly.


If you drink water

While eating white chocolate chips

It tastes like crayon.


KISS your first concert?

Yes, it is unless you count

Seeing the Wiggles.


Welcome to Disney!

This is our hotel room, kids!

Where’s the rest of it?


What are you doing?

Why are you hosing the car?

I’m making it grow.


Nail polish in toilet.

The bottle spilled itself.

Maybe I was there.


When you are in France

You should try to speak in French.

Here, just speak Normal.


I heard you cry out

And I came running to you.

I just bit my toe.


Do you remember?

Sometimes chocolate chips help me

To remember things.


Pick just one color.

If I have to, out of all,

I will choose rainbow.


I sang to the bee

A lullaby to go sleep.

It must be a teen.


Give me one minute.

But an adult minute is

A kid’s half hour.


For my next birthday,

All I really want to do

Is have a food fight.


We got recorders.

We learned to play Hot Cross Buns.

I only know Hot.


If you use water

To make a cup of cocoa,

You are a monster.


I’m a businessman.

I make deals during lunchtime

And get the cookies.


Kid’s menu for you?

I’m not a child anymore!

In kindergarten!


It’s been a tough day.

Let’s go to the boardwalk bar

For Shirley Temples.



Jennifer ZajacComment